Over the years, I have observed a common trend with women, not all women but a sizable portion of the female population, they seem to be very insecure physically and sexually. In my opinion, these insecurities lead women to do some detrimental things in and to their relationships. Women, you need to empower yourselves. Embrace your body (it is the only one you own), get informed about what you like and don’t like sexually and learn that sex is meant to be enjoyed. It is very important to remember that communication is the key to any great relationship and a sexual relationship is no different. Everyone has insecurities but they don’t have to interfere in a healthy relationship. Talk to your partner about the insecurities you have, work on them and get ride of them, or at least get them at a manageable level.

Here are a few tips to help you become the woman you and your man would like you to be, a confident woman who doesn’t focus on your (or his) previous relationships and a woman who communicates not criticizes:

1. Know you are a goddess! Show that confidence. It is very intoxicating to a man if you show him how confident you are about yourself and your sexual techniques. Men love it when women aren’t insecure about themselves or their relationships. If you don’t quite believe you are a goddess yet, try to wear things that make you feel sexy and confident, go get a makeover at the salon, get your nails done and keep telling yourself you are a sexy goddess until it becomes a reality for you. Just remember to keep doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Get a hobby or an activity that is all your own. That will help build confidence as well. It also shows your man that you have your own interests outside the relationship.

2. Ladies stop asking your men about previous girlfriends and the sexual acts they performed on your man. You don’t need to know that and I’m sure he doesn’t really want to talk to you about it. It only leads to feelings of jealousy and that has no place in a healthy relationship. The same goes for you, stop telling him about your ex-boyfriends and what things they may have done for you sexually or how many times a day you did it, etc…etc. Men don’t want to feel like they are being compared just like you don’t want to drive yourself crazy thinking about everything his ex did with him and trying to live up to some standard you have created in your mind. You were not there you couldn’t possibly know what they were like together and besides there are reasons these people are ex-boyfriends/ex-girlfriends let it go and don’t bring the toxic feelings about your ex’s into your current relationship. Your man is with you, not them, start fresh and leave those ex’s in the past were they belong.

3. Never criticize your man’s efforts in the bedroom. Criticizing is a way of telling him he is not doing things the way you want them done. This can be very hurtful and one of the biggest turn-offs to the person who is being criticized and also often leads to resentment. It maybe true that you are not getting the results you want in the bedroom but criticizing him about it isn’t the way to fix it. Instead be direct and communicate with your man. It is not his fault he doesn’t know what you like if you haven’t told him already in no uncertain terms. Tell him what you want and how you want it. He is then not left guessing about where he stands in his abilities and he doesn’t feel stupid because you belittled him about his technique.

Remember don’t be so hard on yourself, enjoy your body, love your life, don’t try to be someone you are not and above all else try to be happy about anything and everything as much as possible.